Sunday, September 20, 2015

The 30-Day Writing My Life Challenge - Day 14: One Thing I Never Learned

We are on the 3rd week of the challenge and I have a lot of catching up to do!  Sigh.
Anyway, please give me a chance. I'll try to do my best to make up for this challenge. I'll be doing a few adjustments. For example:  for some days when I really couldn't think of what to write, I'll just replace it with the succeeding topics just so I won't get stuck.  Deal!? Deal.
For today's topic, I was actually to think of two. I know the challenge asks for just one but let me give you two.
First....I never learned how to swim.

I remember that my family did try to send me to swimming lessons when I was younger but I said "No." Why? Because you have to be in a swimsuit.  And I don't wear swimsuits.  Well, I do now at times,  but I am still not confident.  I might have tried wearing swimsuits recently but expect me to be just in one corner  or with a huge beach towel wrapped around me whenever I'd go walking around.  Case on point: I grew up thinking that for one to be in a swimsuit, she should have THE body.  And I am not talking about just any kind of body.  You know what I mean.  I know, I know. I am absolutely a moron to think that way.  Now that I am already an adult, all the more that I am not confident wearing a swimsuit. I guess that's how it is when you didn't get used to it.

When I was younger, I can't remember if rash guards are already available. From what I remember, swimsuits lang.  And so since I don't like wearing swimsuits, that means no swimming lessons for me. 

My husband did try teaching me how to swim a few months back. The result? We always end up fighting! Hahaha.  So we decided to stop or else we might end up getting an annulment. LOL!

Second thing I never learned?  I never learned how to forgive myself. I always forgive others on whatever they might have done wrong to me, but I don't know how to do the same for myself if I did wrong to others.  I wish I would learn how.  Sometimes the guilt is too much for me to bear.  And that guilt I often use as an excuse whenever they would do something wrong.  I'll always be like "Oh, he/she did that because I did her/him wrong in the past. So it's fine."  But yes, it's absolutely not fine. But because of what I did, I just end up blaming myself for whatever that person would be like towards me. I wish I'd be like them at times.  But I simply can't.  I easily get angry, but I can't hold on to that anger for long.  So I guess there would be nothing in this world that I won't be able to forgive.  Nope, I am not mabait.  Tanga might be the right word.

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